Erase Self-Negativity and Embrace Self-Positivity: A Journey Towards Empowerment
Erase Self-Negativity and Embrace Self-Positivity: A Journey Towards Empowerment
Have you ever caught yourself in a mindset of negativity – toward yourself? Many people do it without even realizing they are. Let’s address our negative self-talk and how to cultivate self-positivity in our lives and towards others, especially impressionable individuals like children. We must recognize how our self-negativity can inadvertently impact those around us, shaping their beliefs and attitudes towards themselves. How can we play a role in fostering self-positivity in others while being mindful of our influence?
Understanding Self-Negativity
Self-negativity presents itself in various forms, from self-doubt and criticism to feelings of unworthiness or inadequacy. Our voices tell us we're not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. This toxic mindset can stem from past experiences, societal pressures, or unrealistic standards we impose on ourselves. As much as people want to “blame” social media for some of these pressures and standards, this isn’t new. Self-negativity was around far before the internet – we now have more exposure to these things and more avenues to express this self-negativity.
Research suggests that certain individuals, such as perfectionists or those with low self-esteem, are more susceptible to negative self-talk. However, nobody is immune to its influence. We all have moments of self-doubt and insecurity, even people who present themselves as self-assured, making it crucial to recognize and address these patterns.
Impact of Our Self-Negativity
While we may think of self-negativity as only impacting our psyche, it can also mirror those around us, especially children who are highly perceptive to our moods and behaviors. Negative self-talk or self-deprecating comments can inadvertently reinforce similar patterns in others, shaping their beliefs about themselves. While we may know what not to say around “little ears” that they may repeat, people don’t always think this also impacts others.
Our mindset and self-perception can influence the dynamics of our relationships. Constant self-criticism or low self-esteem may lead to seeking validation from others or engaging in unhealthy behaviors. However, the person who provides the validation, though genuine, may also become frustrated and tired of this cycle. By prioritizing our self-care and self-compassion, we can foster healthier relationships built on mutual respect and support.
Halting the Cycle of Negative Thoughts
There are a few steps to help combat self-negativity – with APS: Awareness, Practice, and Support.
The first step in combating self-negativity is awareness. Recognize when negative thoughts arise and challenge them. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or distorted perceptions.
Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend facing similar challenges.
Cultivate a supportive environment by surrounding yourself with positive influences. Engage in activities that uplift and inspire you, whether spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or seeking professional help. Remember, seeking assistance is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Sometimes, self-negativity is so ingrained in us that we don’t even realize we are doing it. So, it may take practice to become aware that we are having these thoughts.
Cultivating Self-Positivity in Others
Lead by Example
Children learn by observing the behavior of adults around them. We can instill these values in the younger generation by modeling self-compassion, resilience, and positive self-talk. Celebrate your achievements openly and demonstrate self-acceptance in the face of setbacks. Your actions speak louder than words—and consider whether your actions contradict your words. This isn’t just true with children and other impressionable people in our lives.
One of the things I watch for is how adults talk about their bodies, weight, and body image around children and teens. Even if people don’t necessarily address their weight or body in front of children, talking about calories, fat, carbs, or obsessing about food and how it impacts weight is still a way people can give the idea that their body is not ideal.
Encourage Growth Mindset
Teach children and others the power of "yet" and the concept of a growth mindset. Emphasize that abilities can be developed through dedication and effort. Encourage them to view challenges as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. Praise their efforts and perseverance, regardless of the outcome.
I recently took a cupcake decorating class with my granddaughter. She expressed frustration with one of her decorating attempts because it wasn’t as good as mine. I had to remind her that I had practiced a lot more; this was her first time. Hers was great—especially for her first time.
Considering that I had just started my “fancy” decorating journey just a few months back – I also had to remind myself that I am a novice compared to the instructor, who has done this for over 30 years. It is all relative.
Provide Affirmations and Support
Offer words of encouragement and affirmations to boost self-esteem. Remind others of their strengths and unique qualities. Create a supportive environment where they feel safe to express themselves and pursue their passions. Listen actively and validate their feelings, fostering a sense of belonging and acceptance.
Talking with my granddaughter, she told me about one of her schoolteachers, a fantastic artist. I was also impressed with his artwork. I shared that many of us have talents—and it may not be art/painting like her teacher’s, but something else, so we must continue exploring our abilities.
Foster Resilience
Help children and others develop resilience by teaching them coping skills and problem-solving strategies. Encourage them to learn from failures and setbacks, emphasizing that mistakes are a natural part of the learning process. Empower them to bounce back stronger and more resilient than before.
While I address children, as they are impressionable and what we do and say can have a lasting impact, anyone can develop resilience with coping skills and problem-solving. Here is the thing: we will always have failures and setbacks, right? Things will often need to be corrected. And they need to minimize or avoid the self-negativity and learn from their mistakes.
When a friend was going through a separation and eventual divorce, she kept referring to how “stupid” she had been. I had to step in and insist she was not stupid; she had learned a harsh lesson and had moved forward. I know it is easier to say than do, but keep reminding yourself of this.
Embracing Self-Positivity
Embracing self-positivity involves nurturing a mindset of self-love, acceptance, and appreciation. It's about recognizing your inherent worth and celebrating your strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem. Here are some things you can do to do this:
Practice gratitude: Start or end each day by reflecting on three things you're grateful for. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your perspective and cultivate a sense of contentment.
Affirmations: Use affirmations to reinforce positive beliefs about yourself. Repeat phrases such as "I am worthy," "I am capable," or "I deserve happiness" to counteract negative self-talk.
Self-care: Prioritize self-care activities, which help with resiliency and physical and emotional health. Whether it's exercise, meditation, a massage, or enjoying your favorite hobbies, carve out time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
Set realistic goals: Break larger goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your progress and acknowledge your efforts, regardless of the outcome.
Surround yourself with positivity: Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and encourage you. Distance yourself from toxic relationships or environments that fuel self-doubt and negativity. While doing this self-reflection, ensure you are not the “toxic” person in the relationship.
In observing National Erase Self-Negativity Day, I want to encourage not only the focus on minimizing and eradicating negative self-talk within ourselves but also being cognizant of how this affects others and encouraging self-positivity. You can do this by leading by example, offering support and encouragement, and being mindful of your influence. With this approach, we can foster a culture of empowerment and resilience. We can rewrite the narrative of self-doubt and embrace a mindset of self-love and positivity.
